Currently Playing All the Joy In the World By Jump5 see related

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Random opening:

I now have a Japanese lantern.  It’s pink.  It is the coolest thing since sliced bread.  I love the way it glows.

Wow…it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow!  Today  I baked with Ash and my mom…I made crescent rolls while jamming to Jump5’s Christmas album and was proud for my perfection on those rolls…but I blew it when I dumped the flour into the cherry pie filling…yeah if you can imagine a cake-pie…that’s what its gonna be.   Tomorrow we’re not going to have ANY guests…whoa scary.  I’m really gonna miss shopping on black Friday with Victor, David, and Barbie L  And nobody great is performing for the Macy’s Parade…(Raven doesn’t get me that excited haha)

I have so much to be thankful for. I have a house, a family, friends, food, more clothes then I need and opportunities every day that many kids will never have.  While a lot of stuff is messed up and wrong…(like for instance this afternoon I deleted my e-mail box with important e-mail addresses for Hawk Nelson, Building429, etc. and special e-mails from friends…I cried.  I lost it all but I will recover lol)

Anyway I am grateful for all the friends that have stepped up to the plate recently, y’all know who you are…reaching out to give me a kind word, to listen, to give me a reassuring hug/pat on the shoulder.  Bless y’all because you guys are priceless diamonds in my eyes.

Right now it’s a commercial break, Ash and I are watching “Christmas with Fantasia, Kelly, and Ruben” I only like Kelly haha I love her new single “While You Were Gone” it’s awesome how she can actually sing like crazy live.  I miss my music, I haven’t had time lately.

As to Peter’s question about cutters:

Well from reading various articles and listening to Dawson McAllister I’ve found out why they do what they do.  They feel that physical pain will take away the emotional.  It’s a bitter-sweet distraction.  It also can bring attention and sympathy from people if/when they find out.  But mostly it’s a step BEFORE suicide; lots of teens are too chicken to commit suicide so they fall back on cutting.  Many teens have said it’s just a momentary relief from the “outside world” they feel so much anger/hurt that they’re not using their head…they just do it and that’s that.  Pretty simple…pretty awful.

Anyway I hope you guys have a vundebar (wonderful) Christmas, thank you all for your sweet supportive comments, I treasure themJ 

*ahem* still *cough* looking for a Josh Groban fan to go to the concert with…Dec. 6 is comin up (ticket selling date).

Shout out to a few people recently who have been so rad…

Ash my lovin sis: even though we constantly get on each other’s nerves I <3 you and that will always be true. I love the times we’ve laughed together, and the ones we’ve cried…thank you for being sweet and supportive of my wacky ideas;)  You inspire me…your energy is amazing;)  You challenge me daily with your willing to get even better…rock on.

Colleen: to my darlin friend who I’ve known for like seven years?  I love how I can ALWAYS be myself around you and be as “Dorky” as I want to be…I love our dance times and the times when we laugh so hard we FALL over laughing;)  I cannot wait till you get a xanga;)  Thanks for all the wonderful memories!!!

Laura: I know you won’t see this but you are one of the sweetest girls in the world, I have never once gotten irritated at you because it is IMPOSSIBLE!  I love all the hilarious times we’ve had, and the excursions we’ve gone on, you are a total gem, never ever forget that.

Katie: thank you for going on this “Writing journey” with me I couldn’t do Radiant without you, not only are you a fellow “staffer” but you’re a DAzzLING DiaMONd!  God Bless you for all the times I’ve “e-cried on your shoulder” and vented on the phone, someday we’ll meet and have a rockin awesome time.

Natalie: remember the times when our dads would get together for the Packer games and we’d play dolls or watch TV on the black and white in my room?  I love those times!  Next time you get over here we definetly need to catch up, we’d probably talk the whole time! I love you!

Keegan: what a friend you are!  I’ve been amazed with how STRONG you are, yes I mean it.  I see strength in you, you’ll pull through I know it.  Thank you for all the hugs and sweet words on Sun. ;)  It was amazing having someone go through some of the exact same situations as me…I appreciate you even more now, know that you are gorgeous, absolutely beautiful inside and out.  And don’t say “no not really” because it’s true even if you don’t see it yet.  God Bless you…

For all the “older/wiser” friends aka (Ash, Tara, Micah, etc.) I have that give me advice/stick up for me, you guys are amazing and in a few years when I’m to your age I hope to be just like y’all ;)

For all the other friends I love dearly but weren’t able to mention tonight out of lack of sleep: Christen, Amber, Courtney, Kayla, Peter, Katie, Heather, Kirsten, IGab, Jayla, Dara, Sarah, etc. adore you guys for all you do for me…<3

Grandaddy:  I love you so much that sometimes my heart hurts. I love the times when you’d give me lifesavers and let me sit on your lap.  I love how you would read the Bible out loud to me…I love how you always smelled like tic-tacs.  I loved how you were the most unselfish, loving, person I knew and might ever know.  And I know you’re rejoicing in heaven right now with Jesus himself, basking in his glory.  I love you…